Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
