Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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