Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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