What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize