those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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