wanna go halves on a baby?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
