the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
