Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We left an ass print on the piano.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
