I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
