I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
