Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
