Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
