Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon