Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
