Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
