I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize