Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
