Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
