Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
