I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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