how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
