I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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