Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?

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  (905): Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray? http://tfl.nu/uvnt
  Replies (32) Good night (4591) Bad night (1215) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.

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  (828): God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you. http://tfl.nu/4g7v
  Replies (25) Good night (3393) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur

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  (410): she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur http://tfl.nu/hhzt
  Replies (36) Good night (11722) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived

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  (207): Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived http://tfl.nu/2pbp
  Replies (18) Good night (713) Bad night (7232) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?

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  (909): is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier? http://tfl.nu/2449
  Replies (183) Good night (5131) Bad night (6822) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.

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  (949): you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano. http://tfl.nu/kwsa
  Replies (6) Good night (2297) Bad night (3175) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.

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  (570): 11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college. http://tfl.nu/tbx5
  Replies (9) Good night (3049) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.

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  (773): Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight. http://tfl.nu/f50l
  Replies (5) Good night (4140) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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  (309): I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar. http://tfl.nu/nec2
  Replies (8) Good night (3495) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..

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  (443): I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night.. http://tfl.nu/hua7
  Replies (3) Good night (1994) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?

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  (916): Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents? http://tfl.nu/8kv6
  Replies (20) Good night (2399) Bad night (1207) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.

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  (989): i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway. http://tfl.nu/zfm5
  Replies (1) Good night (2389) Bad night (520)
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  (650): View more from California

  i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra

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  (650): i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra http://tfl.nu/msm7
  Replies (12) Good night (700) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???

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  (907): Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed??? http://tfl.nu/qbm2
  Replies (20) Good night (2263) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.

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  (918): Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time. http://tfl.nu/hv9q
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt

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