She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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