I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
