i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize