I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this just has baby written all over it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
