I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
