Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
