the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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