You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Boobs are out for the taking
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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