So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
