Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
