Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
