tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
