everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
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I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
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I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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