this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
