Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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