yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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