even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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