if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
