u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize