We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
