my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
