his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I am one with the molecules
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
God I need to hump something, right now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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