We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
