I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
