I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
