Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
