Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
