wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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