I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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