I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
