I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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