just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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