Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
