I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
where are you?
Hypothermia
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
