I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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