Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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