so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
