i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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