We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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