I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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