Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
