"it" just moved
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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