He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
