she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
