Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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